Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Famous Last Words

Well, it's about time to kill someone off. I didn't want to do it, but it's happening, and I can't stop it.

Poor Celeste is going down.

I've been saying for a while that if I was going to kill someone, it would be her. Then for some reason at my local NaNo Write-In, I was talking about luna moths, and how they have no mouths. Like, they spent their whole larval stage being a very hungry caterpillar, but once they reach their adult stage, all they do is get it on and die. They only live for about a week as adults.

Can you imagine, the tragic tale of a caterpillar, looking longingly up at a beautiful delicious leaf or whatever, saying to itself, "One day, I'll have wings, and I'll fly up there and eat that leaf." And they grow up and… aww… no mouth.

Anyway, somehow we were talking about Celeste being a caterpillar. She just wants to have it all. Be smart and popular. Grow up to win the prestigious title of Lady Legume (there's a festival, don't ask). But when she gets there, she's going to lose it all.

I said, "No, I'm not gonna do that. I feel bad killing her." But then, there I was, writing away. It's a scene set on Halloween, and she needs a costume. But what? A voice in my head said, "She's a fairy." All right. "With green butterfly-like wings." Okay.

But then this shit happens:

“You look like the absinthe fairy,” I replied.

She smiled. “Thank you. I’m glad you didn’t say I looked like Tinker Bell.”

“Fuck that bitch,” I said.

“Aw!” she said, hugging me. When she let go, she brushed at my shoulders. “Sorry, I’m getting glitter all over you.” She brushed some more. “Oh gosh, sorry, it’s like herpes. You’re never getting rid of it now.”

I sighed. “Do I at least look magical?”


“Why do you have so much glitter, anyway?”

“It’s my fairy dust! It comes off when people try to grab onto me.”

“Like a moth.”

“Exactly. I was a goofy looking little caterpillar, and now I’ve sprouted my wings and I’m a big, beautiful, green luna moth. I'm going to fly away and do something great.”

What the hell?! Now she's definitely going to die! Within a week! I didn't plan on it happening. I didn't mean for it to happen. But here it is, happening. It's like Final Destination. Death is going to track you down and kill you in some horrible way.

Also, yes, my hatred of Tinker Bell makes an appearance. I can't control that either.

Stay tuned for Friday. Who knows where we'll end up!

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