Some Material May be Inappropriate for Weird Viewers

We've been keeping thing pretty PG, but now it looks like they're going to get a little PG-13. This is the kind of thing that I feel embarrassed to be writing, and vow will be cut out before the mythical final version. I cringe as I write it, and hope that no one is looking over my shoulder.

And that's all completely ridiculous. The scene in question (and many scenes like it before) isn't even remotely inappropriate. I'm not even talking about today's sex-crazed standards. I mean in general. And because I have sworn to never show another living soul, I think I should share it with you.

For context, our hero, Eli Makela, got slashed with a broken bottle (I mentioned this last week), and "the doc" (and his ex, apparently), Keri Abiram, fixes him up. The following day, she returns to check on him.

Eli climbed the stairs with Keri behind him and stopped in his kitchen. She closed the door behind her and walked over to him. She went to lift his shirt, but for a moment she just stood there, locking eyes with him, with her hand resting on his hip.

He raised his eyebrows. Not in a judgmental way, but just as a question.

She blinked a few times and looked down, getting back to the reason she was there.

Upon sharing this tidbit with you, I want to go crawl in a hole somewhere and hide until everyone forgets I exist. That's how awkward I feel about this scene. That's weird, right? It's not like there's explicit hardcore banging going on. I can't even say what it is about this scene that seems so wrong. Aside from the fact that it's poorly written. But even with the best words and the perfect syntax, it would still be awkward. I'm still determined to cut this out of any later version, even though the cat is out of the metaphorical bag.

In the grander scheme, this might give you an indication of why there is basically no romance in any of my stories. I can't even put two people in close physical proximity without getting all squicked out. In a few of my past scribblings, there have been characters who shared some sort of romantic affection. And sometimes they'll share a kiss. The thing with this is that it can only happen once in the story, and I have to write it and get out quick like I'm dropping a frigging grenade. I only hope I can escape before someone notices that it happened. Or the romantic subplot explodes, destroying the entire work in the process. One of these days I'll learn to stop using metaphors.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I find the simplest, most innocuous things to be hugely inappropriate. Feel free to comment with your thoughts on the matter, and whether physical contact between two characters is just too much. Or whether you think I'm a weirdo. I'll take whatever.