Getting Distracted

I'm trying to focus on the project at hand, but I keep getting distracted by an idea for a romantic comedy, of all things. It's invading my brain. It's from a picture I saw on Facebook of a Tumblr post that was a picture of a craigslist ad. So it's come a long way to reach me in the first place.

But I'm not going to write it.

Not now anyway. I have a revision I'm supposed to be working on.

And I'm kind of torn on the whole thing. I think it could be a fun story. But there's a big part of my brain that is wired to reject things like that. It's not that I'm incapable of enjoying a good rom-com, it's that I'm not supposed to. Because… something? Because that would make me a silly girl who likes silly girl things? And that's… bad?

Maybe it's time to break out of that mindset. I might even do this for my next project. It seems like it should be easy to write a fun little story like that, but, well, I have a hard time conveying emotions, so I'm not sure how good it will turn out. Only one way to find out, I guess.

The real challenge will probably be in trying to tell a story without murdering anyone. I know it can be done, but *aggravated sigh* it's not nearly as much fun. I guess I'll just have to write an actual plot or something.

If I do try to write this story, I'm probably not going to blog about it. Because of that weird part of my brain. It says I should be embarrassed to even consider such a silly, girly thing. What would the neighbors think? People will talk. "Oh, you wrote a romantic comedy? So now I guess you'll be writing all romance, all the time, where every story has a romantic subplot and at least three sex scenes." I don't want to do that. I don't want people to think I'm like that. I don't want to write sex scenes. I just want to kill people.

By which I mean characters, of course.

The work I am doing on my revision is pretty underwhelming. I've managed to do some character building, which is good. But then I sat down and tried to write a scene, just to get part of the actual plot down on paper. And it sucks. It's just a shitty piece of writing. A string of dialogue between two characters and nothing resembling motivation or depth. It's supposed to be the initial encounter with the Hitchhiker, who goes on to cause all sorts of problems later because she's pissed off. It's supposed to be Tony kind of being a dick in what seems like an inconsequential meeting. The kind of thing you would barely remember a day or two later. The scene I wrote is none of that.

And I know I can write. I've done it before. I've put down words, looked back at them, and said, "That's pretty good." But lately, it's all just coming out as a stew of shit and mediocrity. Now, I know as well as anyone that sometimes you have to write crap to make way for the good stuff. But there's no sign of good stuff anywhere. It's disheartening.

It's days like this that I want to give up and never try to write anything ever again. But I can't. Because I said I was going to become a published writer. *sigh* So now I have to.

Can't let down all five of my readers.

I'll see you Saturday.