Finding a Voice

Sorry there was no post last week. I had a lot going on.

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Narrative voice. That's why we're here today.

I'm sure I've talked about this before, but A) I'm too lazy to verify that, and B) it's an ongoing problem, so it bears repeating.

What I mean is the voice that the narrated bits (not the dialogue bits) are in. If you're writing in first person, then that's one of your characters. Otherwise, it's just this nebulous narrator figure. But just because they don’t have a body or a face doesn't mean that they don't have a personality and a voice.

My problem lies in the fact that my narrative voice tends to have no personality. It's just this flat, clinical description. And when it's not, then it's… wrong. Like a lack of cold professionalism is childish.

Here, I've brought examples:

Under the veil of darkness, a dark figure traversed the ruined back alleys. The timid people of the light had long since retreated into their warm halls. Only the Morlocks still roamed the streets. The figure turned towards the river and descended a flight of stairs beneath a crumbled building. He turned and looked skyward, his pale blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight. Like a shadow, he disappeared beneath the building. He carried in his hand one lone crystal, for he now knew where it went.

- From A Matter of Time, 2010 (Literally the first paragraph of my first NaNo novel.)

It's just… blah. Some things happen. Some other things are tritely described. It just is. It doesn't do anything for anyone. Then on the other hand…

Now, at this point, one has to ask oneself, what kind of man was the sheriff of Maranatha. Perhaps a better question was, was he a man at all? But regardless of that answer, was he the sort of creature who would leave a variety of detritus on the surface of his desk? Would they find three paper clips, two rubber bands, a box of extra staples and a partridge in a pear tree? Or would he keep his desk perfect and pristine, like he was some sort of robot programmed for efficiency. Although, when you’re in desperate need of a paper clip, just lying on the desk is the most efficient place for it to be. But whether a robot scarecrow man would plan for that eventuality was the question. As it would not benefit him, or his townspeople, the answer was probably no.

So, no, there was not a paper clip on the desk.

- From The Long Road, 2017

Now, I find this hilarious, but I feel like I'm not supposed to write like that. It rambles. It stops the flow of the story to talk to itself about the existence of paper clips (of which there are none), rather than just never bringing up paper clips in the first place. It's fun, but it's pointless.

Is there a middle ground? I don't know. There has to be, doesn't there?

I think it might be about consistency. You've got to keep the voice the whole way through. I tend to swing wildly between bare-bones narration and pure sarcasm. Neither are good. It's like… I need personality, but not too much. You don't want to be boring, but you also don't want to be annoying, because either will cause a reader to use your book to level a desk.

I'll be honest. I have a lot to work on. Better characters, better descriptions, better narration. It's starting to pile up to the point that I don't even know where to start anymore, or how to get better at any of that. It might be about time to give up on the dream and just be satisfied with an ordinary, boring existence. But maybe not today.

I'll see you next week.