tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9041086302095067865.post4935392189784770050..comments2023-06-24T00:29:55.957-07:00Comments on Writing Desks and Ravens: What Lurks in the Darkness?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9041086302095067865.post-17207600467421930912017-01-25T15:32:27.339-08:002017-01-25T15:32:27.339-08:00I want to read more of this story. What are the p...I want to read more of this story. What are the people on the ship doing? It must be an awful surprise for them to see the earth so close. And how does it feel to step out onto solid ground for the first time, ever. What is the legend? Your character has special skills, but we don't know what they are or how they were achieved. If he has skills, he must know the legend and be prepared for the beast with the wings... <br />Neat story. I want MORE. Krista Noyeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16853231556585877254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9041086302095067865.post-65930374807465875312017-01-24T22:45:30.815-08:002017-01-24T22:45:30.815-08:00It's a solid base, but it's obviously only...It's a solid base, but it's obviously only half-baked. With a little more work I'm sure you'd have it where you want it. <br />Backstory should be like seasoning: it enhances the story your telling, but the real meat of your story is the character in the moment. We want more. This is not only a bizarre situation for him (that he's obviously under-qualified for), but he's on the ground for the first time ever! Fleshing him out while contrasting with the fear of those around him, that may heat up the story without giving away whatever is in the darkness - cause really, what's scarier than things that go bump in the night?<br />Gotta say, it's a sign of a good writer if the answer is "add more" rather than "change it".Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09407459498722656109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9041086302095067865.post-17299050065408150712017-01-24T20:42:20.186-08:002017-01-24T20:42:20.186-08:00I think this is a fun prompt and I sort of want to...I think this is a fun prompt and I sort of want to write it myself. Ever since you introduced it a few posts ago, I've thought about its potential. I agree that the tension is mellow here, but I think it wouldn't take much to build it up with your characters anxiety. Maybe a legend or story that's been said echos in his mind, or another guard could torment him. Just some thoughts. Also when you mentioned something flying with wings, I thought "and?" he should see something scary, something demonic, something that curdles his blood. Still, I love your writing style. I missed what your word count was supposed to be but I think you've definitely accomplished something in such a short piece.E.G. Moorehttp://www.emilygmoorewriter.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.com